The Life and Times of Mr. Peanut

Magazine Article

Rachel Kirby
Contingent Magazine, 2020 Feb 13



APA   Click to copy
Kirby, R. (2020). The Life and Times of Mr. Peanut. Contingent Magazine.

Chicago/Turabian   Click to copy
Kirby, Rachel. “The Life and Times of Mr. Peanut.” Contingent Magazine (February 13, 2020).

MLA   Click to copy
Kirby, Rachel. “The Life and Times of Mr. Peanut.” Contingent Magazine, Feb. 2020.

BibTeX   Click to copy

  title = {The Life and Times of Mr. Peanut},
  year = {2020},
  month = feb,
  day = {13},
  journal = {Contingent Magazine},
  author = {Kirby, Rachel},
  month_numeric = {2}

"Having gathered to mourn his seeming demise, Wesley Snipes, Matt Walsh, Mr. Clean, the Kool-Aid Man, and ten or so unidentified people huddled around the legume-shaped mound of dirt marking Mr. Peanut’s burial site. A flower wreath encircled a framed picture of the monocle-wearing character, and a tombstone reading “Mr. Peanut APR. 1916 – JAN. 2020” featured an etching of his stately silhouette. As Snipes read a eulogy to the nut who had given his life to save him, the Kool-Aid Man let out a somber “Oh yeah,” shedding a single tear onto the grave below.
Much to the surprise of those in attendance, this tear nourished the earth, and a new plant sprouted—a peanut plant. From this rapidly-grown foliage emerged a top-hat wearing, spats-sporting, anthropomorphized baby-sized peanut. Matt Walsh picked up the babbling bean, which proceeded to make dolphin noises before announcing in an adult voice “Just kidding. I’m back.”


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