Magazine Article
Rachel Kirby
Contingent Magazine, 2020 Feb 13
Contingent Magazine, 2020 Feb 13
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Cite
APA
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Kirby, R. (2020). The Life and Times of Mr. Peanut. Contingent Magazine.
Chicago/Turabian
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Kirby, Rachel. “The Life and Times of Mr. Peanut.” Contingent Magazine (February 13, 2020).
MLA
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Kirby, Rachel. “The Life and Times of Mr. Peanut.” Contingent Magazine, Feb. 2020.
BibTeX Click to copy
@article{rachel2020a,
title = {The Life and Times of Mr. Peanut},
year = {2020},
month = feb,
day = {13},
journal = {Contingent Magazine},
author = {Kirby, Rachel},
month_numeric = {2}
}
"Having gathered to mourn his seeming demise, Wesley Snipes, Matt Walsh, Mr. Clean, the Kool-Aid Man, and ten or so unidentified people huddled around the legume-shaped mound of dirt marking Mr. Peanut’s burial site. A flower wreath encircled a framed picture of the monocle-wearing character, and a tombstone reading “Mr. Peanut APR. 1916 – JAN. 2020” featured an etching of his stately silhouette. As Snipes read a eulogy to the nut who had given his life to save him, the Kool-Aid Man let out a somber “Oh yeah,” shedding a single tear onto the grave below.
Much to the surprise of those in attendance, this tear nourished the earth, and a new plant sprouted—a peanut plant. From this rapidly-grown foliage emerged a top-hat wearing, spats-sporting, anthropomorphized baby-sized peanut. Matt Walsh picked up the babbling bean, which proceeded to make dolphin noises before announcing in an adult voice “Just kidding. I’m back.”