"Having gathered to mourn his seeming demise, Wesley Snipes, Matt Walsh, Mr. Clean, the Kool-Aid Man, and ten or so unidentified people huddled around the legume-shaped mound of dirt marking Mr. Peanut’s burial site. A flower wreath encircled a framed picture of the monocle-wearing character, and a tombstone reading “Mr. Peanut APR. 1916 – JAN. 2020” featured an etching of his stately silhouette. As Snipes read a eulogy to the nut who had given his life to save him, the Kool-Aid Man let out a somber “Oh yeah,” shedding a single tear onto the grave below.
Much to the surprise of those in attendance, this tear nourished the earth, and a new plant sprouted—a peanut plant. From this rapidly-grown foliage emerged a top-hat wearing, spats-sporting, anthropomorphized baby-sized peanut. Matt Walsh picked up the babbling bean, which proceeded to make dolphin noises before announcing in an adult voice “Just kidding. I’m back.”